Sunday, July 25, 2010

Imaginarium of Dr Delusion~.~

                                                           Reading on your own risk!

    Long time ago, far away from European plains and mountains, there was this land. The land was divided into many Kingdoms. Kingdoms were fighting each other over the fertile meadows and fields and its jewels, hidden deep under the feet of regular soldiers who knew nothing about them. After centuries of wars devastating this beautiful domain interlaced with times of peace, a great invention was brought to the Land of Morning Calm. A powerful invention, much more dangerous that any rifles and machine guns. And suddenly a celluloid flowers began to bloom. A mightly wave of Golden Age of Cinema swept away every country of the world. Land of Morning Calm learned fast. And when people started to breathe again with ease, a new wave rose like tsunami, covering neighboring countries. This time it was Hallyu, The Korean Wave. As every kid who learns Physics even a bit knows what is the wave. We have different waves: radio waves, acoustic waves, sea waves, Keunsuk's hair waves, oops, sorry, too early...

Ah, I'm so sexy...
   So, the wave is like a big sine wave, it has "hills" and "valleys", it has ups and downs. Hallyu, after a period on top of that hill, followed the slope and for three years remained there, slowly preparing for a mountain climbing. Now it is on the top again. But dammit!! Stupid cartographers marked the hill all wrong! Yes, I guess they were Japanese... Because, instead of some nice plateau where we can drink *cough* a tea and take a deep pleasure in looking over the fabulous landscape, we got... a boiling volcano! With mocking "Gotcha!" reverberating inside the crater.
   And this is where we are. A new Hallyu without stars. This is a really tough moment, that is why after some time of thinking (??) Korean Entertainment gave its fate in the hands of... idols! Yes, my fellow martyrs, idols will take place of our men, of our actors, of our stars.
And this is how a true cauchemar (yes, I know a bit of French, like Georrrrrge, maybe less, he's in the end a French snail, and I'm not. At least not French.) begins! And this is not because the military claimed all the best (yeah, Junki excluded, phy! For all I care!) for two years. It is because we are witnessing a shift in thinking. It looks like someone created clones of those people in charge of TV Stations and all (again, some envious neighbors? No not you Jong Il, you'd most likely need a clone for yourself), and brainwashed them. It wasn't me this time!
The hell I know who they are and I don't care!
I thought the process of "producing" idols was typical Japanese speciality (yes, I know about big Jabba the Johnny) and putting them everywhere. As for now, Korean movies are the last stronghold of any talent. And I don't mean only as for actors but also directors and writers. They all can be free, they can make disgusting, disturbing, bad, brilliant, boring, captivating movies. If the movie flops, no money for the next project is all what they can face. That is why I LOVE Korean cinema.
   As for dramas... OK, let me breathe for the moment before I start bashing everything I have in mind and leaving tooth marks on my table. As for the table... Wait, we will go there, don't worry. Seems like suddenly all thought the same thing: My gods, those guys/girls/whatever are so good in their MVs, it means they MUST have some acting abilities. Whoever came up with this thought: I wish I had a time machine to go back and gave your parents set of condoms. This is my answer.
   But unfortunately in this nightmare such rational solution won't work. That is why we have guys/girls/whatever sneaking into dramas, stealing spots reserved for good actors, or at least for those with watchable performances. I know, I saw that Entertainment Weekly explained that it is the TIMES we are living in that demands such versality from stars. Singers are no longer singers, but they appear in movies, in dramas, they are modelling for certain companies. Strangely no one makes CMs for some building materials, or instead of advertising new perfume, let them do a CM for a spray against flies or mosquitoes. Hell, I would buy it and spray all over them!
   That is why we have a lot of girl-groups and boy-groups (the word "boy" I just wrote with utmost difficulty), trying to act. And trying is the only word that suits all the effect. Sure, some of them are nice, some of them are watchable, but when comparing them to regular actors... well...
The worst thing is, they are so full of themselves so they do not need to improve anything. They are just THAT good. Why? Because they have fangirls/fanboys/hamsters/parrots who will faint at their sheer sight. They will kyaaaaa over whatever they do (or squeak, I have no idea what sound parrot produces, but I believe it's something along kyaaaaa anyway. Cause everyone alse does it, and parrots are good in imitating).
Recently in Personal Taste there was this guy from 2AM, forgot his name, he was even watchable and funny, but it's not always like this, plus he had really small role. Problems start when the agency is one of the biggest (Sirius? JP?) and has ways to push one's own pupil into the leading role. O, Hekate! O, Erinyes! You see it and don't punish it?!

   I have problems with girls groups, for me they are all look the same and sound the same. Period. Plastic is fantastic, as they say, hehe. So if any of those beautiful girls with two facial expressions (one is: smile, second one is: I'm gonna cry, cause I'm brainless, cute crying puppy) is casted, I check them and let it pass, cause they don't catch my attention. Maybe because I'm straight. Then again, no, I was really captivated by Kim Hye Su, but she's a great actress and a beautiful woman, just like Oh Yun Soo. Forgot to add, both are over 30, so no, no idols here.
UEE was casted in YAB, fine, let it pass. But YAB, as I wrote earlier, messed up with leading used-to-guy and his/her fangirls. Looks like movie/drama industry in Korea has been divided like the land itself, with some DMZ (Deprived of Men Zone) between. There are great actors, true stars and wonderful artists, but they do not appear in dramas, or when they do, there are only them, and the rest who tries to follow, blinded by the magnificently shining talent (no, not bling, Idiot!).
And   my rant is basically because of this Flower Boy on the left, because of that exceptionally talented wooden table! I mean, it is very high achievement. I tried to teach my bed to express some feelings, but I must say it failed badly comparing to this highly admired boy. I don't understand his popularity. He ruined BOF (hmm... as if there was something to rescue, hmm...). He has two expressions: one - blank stare, and the second - smile with the blank stare. OK, I said to myself some time ago, he may not be an outstanding actor, but maybe he sings like angels themselves? So I checked the MVs on Youtube. Hmm... how to put it to not to hurt anybody's feelings... At least he looks a tad more guyish than this one hopeless one below. But this is all of positive things I can write. I think I did a great job. If you only saw my brain working like crazy to write something good on him. I want to watch dramas still as long as I can. But the shortage of truly talented actors is terryfying. Casting idols may be a temporary solution in times like this when all of talented young men went to the military, but hell, don't make it permanent. I wonder, just picture JKS and KHJ in the military, muahahah, ekhe, ekhe...   
You saw my underwear, care to see my nipples?
   You know I don't want to feel ashamed showing some photos to my friends, I don't want to hear "Is THAT a boy or a girl?", "Are you sure you're not lesbian?" (dongsaeng, I will not forgive you this one!!). But with how the things are progressing, I guess the Imaginarium of Dr Delusion is slowly becoming the reality. How it looks like? Imagine you're in the pastel colored city, with clean streets, fashionable, lean guys and smiling girls with two ponytails. How to distingush who's who? That's tricky, but here's my priceless tip: show a free ticket to some Maybelline promotion. The one who will pout, touching at the same time lips with fingers, it's a girl! If both start jumping and screaming with joy, man, get outta here fast! In this peaceful land where sun doesn't damage the skin protected by moisturizing fluid for both sexes, you can encounter couples talking about new clothing line at Marc & Jacobs or Chanel, about the best mascaras for elongating eyelashes or conditioners for wavy hair, so soft, it seems to be made out of silk. You can stop now and ask: "Are you toying with us? It's a gay fantasy!". No, my dears (deers?? where?) it's every little girl fantasy. To have a boyfriend exactly like their best girlfriends. A boyfriend with whom they can talk about cosmetics and clothes. Imagine what a time-saving! What do you need divide your precious time between your friends and a boyfriend when you can have all-in-one. *Do not shake before use. Kamsahamnida.*
   Agencies know about it that is why they produce doll-like idols. Idols know about it that's why they stay doll-like. And all that happy, self centered mess of an entertainment is thrown into dramas! Concerned about their looks, they can't afford to have wrinkles, so they don't use mimical muscles. Just stay with dead-fish eyes and one expression through 16 episodes (version optimistic). They rely on their charm, enchanting smiles and fame produced by the whole entourage, by the environment itself and not by their sheer talent.

This is when a dream of one person becomes the nightmare of another.
I say, let them burn on stakes for that!
There is too much wood in the industry...

And this is how I get another 20 $. Easier than preparing for the role^^

You ruined My Lovely Kim Sam Soon for me!!

Still, I hear 4 girls at most. But they are all so pretty, who cares if they can't act!

Have no idea what this stands for. ZE:A - Zero Emotions: Approved??