Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Kisses genres

Great, my screen is clean again^^ This is called "screen kiss".

   This is fun! I thought a kiss is just a kiss, but no, not in Korea. There are kisses and KISSES according to this article on HanCine. While reading this I suddenly realized that those categories are just lame and inadequate to variety of Kdrama kisses! "Foam kiss", "kimchi kiss"? Oh, pleeze, spread the word, good villagers, and let's create challenging (because Kdrama writers are sometimes" challenged" already) kiss categories!

Not for teenagers, mothers and all that element in society that feels uneasy seeing kisses. Imageheavy post.

"Candy kiss", "gum kiss" and all are nice, but they don't describe the vast amount of other Kdrama kisses.

"Pain in the neck" kiss:

   Let's start with romantic kisses on the neck, rarely seen, because most actresses probably have tickles and NG would consumme most of their shooting time that varies from 22 to 23.45 hours a day. This is reserved for the best, those who can continue without laughing hysterically. This kind of kiss is heavily "aww" inducing, and also - hygiene inducing. After seeing something like that, all girls around the globe check their back to see if it's kiss-ready. If it is, there is only one thing left - find a guy.

"Just passing" kiss.

   This is when we are coming from grocery shoppings and suddenly a wild guy appears and kisses us on our way to the elevator. Isn't that romantic? The lady may be shocked byt guy may always say: "Hey, don't you know, this is how we greet each other in Busan!" (sending Ori where she belongs, mehehe).

Accident kiss:

   Accidentally both have lips. Accidentaly both closed their eyes. Accidentally they placed lips in the right place haphazardly. 5 seconds later... "omg, that was something, phew!"

"Animal kiss":

   One of the characters is a fox, and another a Carp. This can happen only under those conditions. If you happen to be neither of them, don't even attempt to mimic it and swallow the light ball (ping-pong ball may do the trick or some marbles). "Animal kiss" applies also when one participant is an animal, but this kind of kiss is usually called "Hybrid kiss".

"Medicine kiss":

   Happens when one of the characters is VY^7yubhjvTRDFGI*8iujj^%$%^$ a doctor and another a patient. Usually used to check the patient's tonsils. Now excuse me, but I think my throat hurts, where was this clinic number...

"Dead Fish Kiss":

   Otherwise known as "Table Kiss" too. This kiss is thought to be derived from Queen Victoria's advice to her daughter - "Lie, don't move and think of England" given before the wedding night. Put "Korea" in place of Albion and you can recreate the same image. Lack of any feelings is requested.

"Lesbian Kiss":

   Not sure if it's even a category...

"Hero-ic kiss":

   Used when your partner is Kim Jaejung and this time only. Doesn't apply to any other human or celestial being with less than 892375276579 cray cray fangirls. Most of us will never experience that anyway. Putting this here because lack of anyone from JYJ makes any list invalid. Any list.

"Door kiss":

   You need to have doors as the back up. And Gong Yoo as the partner. Kiss full of passion, horniness and ending in bed. For most teenage girls in Korea this one is equal to a porn on their regular TV.

And to end this, the guy below (ohohoho!!) needs a serious bitch-slap. Good thing I'm a bitch.