Sunday, July 31, 2011

8 Miles to Kpop

   Oh, I feel like smashing something. Watching drama surely has calming effects on me, and right now I'm left without any (yes, I caught up with everything), so imagine my frustration. Well, seeing The Diva in crown (yes! finally! Although it wasn't queen's tiara) made my day, that's for sure, but not until I stumbled upon the article that somehow eluded me for some time. Not anymore. We had Dream High drama about bunch of high-schoolers dreaming of becoming stars. Zero acting from the said "stars" put me off right in the middle of the first episode, so I don't know, but I presume they became hallyu stars with millions of crazy devoted fangirls/fanboys. Are you satisfied? Apparently there were some voices stating that 8 Mile was an american version of musical Cinderella, therefore Korea needs to have "the presiousssss" as well. And yes, new movie is on the way - Mr. Idol (oh what an elaborated title, I wonder how long it took them to come up with that?).

   The movie depicts a story of a boy in his 20s, dreaming of becoming a band vocal and a female producer who wants to make him an idol star. (hancinema)
It's described as comedy, music and drama. Well... some music can be drama, and some can be unintentional comedy. 

   So we have a boy who dreams of becoming a band vocal? My first question - why band? Why not to be bold and go all the way - singer, solo! Why share the fame (and fangirls) with other members? Why sacrifice precious screen time for something as trivial as relationships? And female producer? By sheer chance slim, sexy female producer tempted by her pedo desires... oops, no, that would be me, ekhem... Why not some slimy Jabba the Hutt-kind of producer? Oh, that would be an interesting watch!
And I propose some twist of badly written contract, biding the aspiring singer to belong to the agency for 99 years. Yes, after that, the la(n)d will return to Chinese... oh wait, I messed up again...The chirographum signed with blood, written in an invisible ink that appears only during the eventual trial.
"I hereby certify that the bearer of this note, Nikolai Ivanovich, spent the night in question at Satan's ball, having been lured there in a transportational capacity... Hella, put in parentheses! And write 'hog.' Signed- Behemoth." Mikhail Bulgakov (The Master and Margarita)

   I imagine the movie will be as pastel and genderless as some (censored), revealing nothing, covering a lot. It will be a display of "Look how we, magnanimous Agency, create an idol! And how we care about his life!"- kind of truth. I think agencies need this movie badly, need to show the human face to everybody and prove they are not monsters. Oh no, of course not, remember The Master and Margerita book? Woland was just a regular guy, you know, and he was the Devil himself in fact.
This is exactly the same manoeuver - to hide the nature of the agency under a mask of regular guys working hard to promote another, nameless guy. I don't believe in people benevolence. Especially I don't believe in powerful people benevolence. There is always "a trap" (to lure innocent Rebellion fleet... damn, not again).

   We are already all fed up with real life drama with JYJ and other idols. The true courage would be to take their story and turn it into a movie - happy prancing in bunny suits (oh, Yucheon, you irreversibly destroyed me), exhausting concerts, millions of happy fans, and then The Accident - 3/5 of boys evolved conscience and started to think of themselves as free men. The title... hmmm Rising Sun would be good, but SMEnt would probably sue over the copyright infridgement.
So this is why the movie now (notabene: the director made Going By The Book^^), and not 3 years ago. The mixture of Dreamgirls (but with less drugs, I presume) and 8th Mile, all in "believe in yourself" sauce. To prove that there is nothing shady in contracts, in path to become a star, in way to achieve your dreams.

Oh well, probably it won't be also as good on the musical side as Go Go 70! (Mr. HONG.KWANG.HO!), I know Jay Park has tons of fans and all, but I personally can't stand him, never liked 2PM, and him as well. So no, music doesn't interest me much in this also. 


   And since I mentioned JYJ - there are some voices that KBS had no choice but to screw write off JYJ from the concert. The reason? Oh well, on July 29th, KBS issued another statement in which they explained that they chose f(x) and SNSD because of... taram ta tam... they are known worldwide and they went for the SMEnt concert in Paris in June. And yes, in case you didn't know - JYJ are not known worldwide at all, yes. What a dumb reason. The pinnacle of dumbness! JYJ are referred to as rogues that went ballistic, and having a deal with them will certainly lead to destruction. Hmm, Miss Ripley was either first or second in ratings, so yes, this IS a sign of downfall, yes. Fact, MBC not even once promoted the drama, and still fans did whatever they could on their behalf. Anything with JYJ on it will sell.
I can understand only one reason - JYJ are really dangerous. What they did was not simply breaking the contract, but they shook the entire K-Entertainment. They showed something that has not been seen ever since hallyu started to grow from the belly of the ocean. They stood up against the biggest Leviathan, armed only with their faith in their will. No one wants to work with dangerous people, and those three are no longer powerless boys, but they are vocal, and they can say NO.

But here is something that suddenly occured to me - we are all hypocrites with person writing this included. I can bash KBS all I can, and in my opinion it did wrong and I have every right to do it, but no matter how I love and support the boys, I am unable to boycott KBS, MBC, SBS, SMEnt (although the last one is the easiest). I watch dramas on their websites, I watch shows. So yes, I bear a partial fault to the stagnant situation in this matter. As for SMEnt - it's easy, I like only one person there (Dir. Ahn), but still, as long as this one precious person is entrapped there, I can't do anything really. 
So yes, we are living in a world of divided loyalties.

picture by: Klumsyk